Still here and…

It has been months since I have posted and so much has been happening! For a while I was afraid to post, as I didn’t know what was permissible and what was against the rules. Now, I think I may proceed!

It is true that once your eyes and heart has been opened to the blessings of adoption, you are forever changed. It’s not that I am discontent with my family; I am not lacking anything with the children that I have. The problem is that there are thousands and millions of children who ARE lacking and who want/need the basics of life…food, safety, a family. I can’t promise designer clothes, big vacations and cruises are out of the question, and even ordering anything off the dollar menu at Mc D’s on the rare occurrence that we go is forbidden! BUT, I can offer a place in our family, a place to come home to, a place to belong. I can offer my heart to be stretched to encircle another, my arms for a ready hug, and my prayers for a lifetime.

It is for these reasons as well as others that I can proudly announce that we are adopting again! This time our foreign land is Detroit, MI; our new child is a 14 year old boy. Avery has been visiting us since April 1^st (no fooling!) and will be with us full time by mid-June. Being an older boy, he knows that adoption for him means that some past behaviors, vocabulary, music and activities must be left behind. He also knows that exchanging those for what he has offered with this forever family makes it a very tempting deal.

What has been interesting has been watching Hope interact with Avery. Hope, being a very reserved girl, is forced out of her comfort zone with Avery, who is very much “in your face.” Instead of retreating more into her shell, Hope has been blossoming into a more self-confident, smiling young lady. This is just another example of how God’s hand has been in the midst of the adoption…and there are many stories to tell!

Hope has been enjoying everything so much more here. She has started reading English books (and really liking the Shadow Children series!) and rarely misses an opportunity to watch English movies, even over her Chinese movies and books! She still is in contact with her Chinese friends, but also has a lot of fun with her new friends from church and school. She has been blossoming into such a beautiful girl, inside and out.

Amanda is still Hannah’s virtual twin. They dress alike, play alike, and even talk alike! Last week I brought out last year’s summer clothes for the girls to try on, thinking it was going to take about 30-40 minutes to complete. Instead, they took 2 hours trying on the clothes and giving me a fashion show, complete with naming the outfits, coordinating hair styles and props, and walking up and down the sidewalk as their catwalk. There is rarely a dull moment, as Amanda’s imagination has developed as well as her English skills. For a little girls that could only recite “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” in English when we got her January of last year, she has completed her first grade reading curriculum and spelling with excellence! Her 9^th birthday is coming up next month and the planning for her party has occupied both her and Hannah’s imaginations for weeks. She doesn’t want much, just treasure hunts, pool parties, music recitals, slumber parties, petting zoos, and bike races, all rolled into one extravaganza. I love a girl who can dream big!

Often people ask about the girls, and inevitably they ask how their transition has been. I can honestly say that we have two girls that fairytales are based upon—if I were to write a book about how well things are going, no one would buy it because no one would believe it. Things were TOUGH in the beginning, but that has all faded away. I only hope I can be a good enough momma for my girls, as well as all of my kids.

On another note, we just finished cleaning up after Austin’s open house—he just graduated from high school on Thursday. Hannah is already crying daily because he starts college in 90 days (she‘s counting) . He has finished the race of high school well—academically, socially, and spiritually. I am excited for his opportunities at MIT, but the natural sadness of missing him definitely creeps up on me when I’m not looking.

Well done, Austin! I am so proud of you!

All my best,

Amy

Alive and Kickin’

Alas, how many moments have I let fade away in the deep recesses of my mind because I didn’t take the time to write them down? I cannot do them all justice, but I can give an attempt to touch the big ones, however briefly:

v      Last spring we all volunteered for Disney’s “Give a Day, Get a Day” and we took advantage of our free tickets to the Magic Kingdom! It was only a day in the park, but it was a day at Disney—something Hope had anticipated since we were in Hong Kong last year. Even though we had great fun as a family, the next day was just as good if not better! We took a drive to Cocoa Beach to play in the surf.  It was the Hope’s, Amanda’s and Hannah’s first trip to the ocean, and each one learned that when momma says to keep your mouth closed in the water, she means it!!! Everyone took lots of time finding fantastic shells and rocks and all the kids romped in the waves for a long time. Bless his heart, Dave even decided it would be a good idea to stop at a souvenir shop for everyone to get one treasure to bring home (that wasn’t covered in salt water or sand…those were in our luggage!)

v      Our FIRST Christmas together!!! It was SO wonderful to be together! As the season approached, we would talk about all the Christmas shows on TV, watched A Christmas Story, and read some Christmas books. Hope was mystified when the storyline didn’t mirror the first Christmas of the Bible. It really highlighted how jaded I have become, how much junk I have let replace the sacred places of my heart. We all participated in family traditions: an afternoon was devoted in finding the *perfect* Christmas tree, another for decorating the tree with all the ornaments we have gathered over the years, multiple kinds of Christmas cookies, complete with cutter cookies, made and decorated by each child. We also thoroughly enjoyed the company of my sister and her family for the holiday. At first I was concerned that the extra commotion could cause undue stress to the new girls, but true to form, the value of family far outweighed the uncertainty of the unknown. We loved going places in our big white van…it looked like a clown car when 4 adults and 8 children disembarked!  I am sure that Christmas Eve and Day were overwhelming for the new girls, but we all enjoyed each other—and spent a lot of time in our pj’s, even when Grammie and Grandpa came for Christmas dinner.

v      Celebrating our FIRST YEAR—Gotcha days, first day in America, First day trying pizza, all of those firsts!

v      Celebrating Hope’s birthday—she turned the big 1-5 this year! Surprisingly, she was very disturbed by this. She even cried when people talked about it and repeated that she wanted to stay 14. I tried to tell her that I have been trying to say 32 for a decade, but it wasn’t working. We even tried to tell her she was 14 plus 1, but she didn’t buy the logic. She had her first sleepover with two friends for her birthday too. It started out well, but we decided that little sleep and an extended visit the next day doesn’t work out well for a tired teen…next time, guests will go home right after breakfast! That way Hope can still get a nap…for someone who will stay up all night studying for school or watching Chinese movies, she certainly needs sleep when being social!

v      Hope and Andrew were in a play together in January! Andrew was a lead role and Hope had no lines, but they were in it together and had a blast! We will be having the cast party here next week!

v      Mandy has been diligently studying her AWANA book and has officially finished it and is ready to start reviewing it! AMAZING for a girl that knew NO English a year ago!

v      Hannah turned 8—we officially have two eight year old virtual twins! She had friends over for a sledding party—it was low-key, but better than no party last year (due to Mom and Dad being in China!)

v      CHINATOWN in Chicago—only a day trip, but one that was so much fun for all of us! The girls kept saying “Are we in China?” Of course they knew full well that we were still here, but had fun being surrounded by people that looked like them, talked like them, by smells and writing that were familiar. It will be a trip that we will repeat soon!

v      MINNIE IS HERE!!! Our former exchange student is visiting for her CNY. It feels good to have our “family” together again! J

v      CNY—nothing close to China but we went out to a local Chinese restaurant that also had lion dancing, gave the red envelopes, and Dave set off some fireworks in the front yard (sorry, neighbors!). It was easy to see on Hope’s face that she was remembering years past, but she seemed thankful that we tried.

I have forgotten many important things, but lest another memory fade, I wanted to write while I had a moment.

I thank God for all the blessings He has shared with us in the past year alone. I pray that I will be a good steward with what (and whom) He has given!

All my best,

Amy

WOW!

Hailey swam 100 backstroke at the state meet and got a 1:01.28!!!

I am so proud of my baby girl!

Last year she qualified but was DQ-ed—this year she placed 8^th!

Her medley team also walked away with 5^th place!!!

And she got her personal BEST time ever.

I saw a quote today: The will to win is important. The will to train is imperative.

Hailey trained about 450,000 yards this season! That is about 256 miles! Here’s to a great swim, Hai!

All my best,

Amy

Strength in the Start and the Finish (and somewhere in between!)

There are many times we are called upon to be strong. Sometimes physical strength is required; other times it is emotional or mental. Often, it is a combination of all three.

Hailey has been in the water since the beginning of summer, practicing for the swim team. Her first meet’s times were the best of her season as they happened after a three week “break” between the age group and high school teams. Even though she has been pushing herself both before and after school, she hasn’t been able to break through her 1:04 “threshold” for backstroke. About a month ago she donned her Fastskin and competed at MISCA—and broke into the 1:03’s.  A week and a half ago Hailey was at conference—and got a 1:02.8!!! Then she got bronchitis…and her times tanked. In two days she will be competing at state. She is extremely nervous, as she doesn’t know how her performance will be post-sickness. An accumulation of five months of training, hundreds of MILES in the pool, and hours of extra-curricular weight lifting; all for just over a minute of performance.  Physically—she has completed her training. Mentally—it is still up in the air! We will be cheering loudly from the stands! Whether or not she gets her PR, she still is a winner in my book. Taking home the hardware will be icing on the cake, though!

Hope has attended swim meets since her first week home. She has gone from NEVER entering a body of water, even for bathing purposes, to allowing herself to stand in a pool with me by her side, to swimming solo. The transition was not smooth—I had to enter the water on numerous occasions to rescue her as she hovered just below the surface, not even knowing to reach out for assistance. This year, however, she decided that she wanted to go out for the middle school swim team! I had hoped that she would, but very much expected her to come home after the first day and say that she was done. Hope even admitted that she had wanted to tell me before the second day that she didn’t want to go back, but after she attended that practice, she was glad that she went back. Before her first meet Hope was very concerned that she wouldn’t know what to do, when to start her races, that she didn’t know how to do a flip turn, etc. For as nervous as she was, I was PROUD! She was not a contender for first place, but she was there, swimming her heart out, next to girls who had been swimming for over a decade. Only 5 months after her first experience of putting on a swim suit, Hope was a member of the swim team, clad in a team suit, swim cap and goggles!  She recalls being so scared to try and to continue trying after she saw how fast most of her team was.  However, Hailey just told me that Hope is no longer the slowest in her lane! Another miraculous accomplishment by my tenacious teen!

Austin has closed another chapter of his high school career. Last weekend he performed in and closed the high school performance of Our Town. He loves being in theatre—I guess when the theatre bug bit me decades ago it was passed on to my son! Anyway, he is not an emotional child normally, but he admitted breaking down between performances on the last day. It was difficult for him to regain composure to start the next performance; his voice was shaky and his makeup smeared. It is hard closing a chapter of something that was fun and dear to him, especially since he doesn’t see an opportunity to continue it in the future. One thing that can be said about Austin—he did act well his part, and there all the honor lies.

I hope you have an opportunity for an encore performance, Austin!

So, for my swimmers and my master thespian, allow me to say “Well Done!” I am so proud!

All my best,

Amy

A Veiled Blessing

As Solomon said long ago: “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-“ doesn’t happen often at our house! In fact, it seems that we get busier and busier as time goes on. Not that the things we are involved in are necessarily bad, but the harried pace and lack of sleep sometimes puts us behind the eight-ball. Our eldest son, Austin, has learned this the hard way. While trying to squeeze in a little more homework before going to play rehearsals seemed like a good idea to him, when he realized the time he flew out of the house and took off in his car. Or, more accurately, he tried to.

Back up a little over a year when the tragic accident happened with Stephen Curtis Chapman’s family. The horrific death of their adopted daughter caused by their teenage son in their own driveway struck a tremendous chord of fear in my heart. I used their tragedy as a teaching moment MANY times since then, especially since I had a teenage driving son and now adoptive daughters as well. Add an element of senior-itis that has been settling into Austin’s heart and mind for months—which led to a few discussions about his driving habits and my promises of taking away his keys if he didn’t improve. Fast forward to the present: I had reminded Austin twice that it was late and that he needed to leave. He chose to stay. When he did get up to go, he also chose to ignore my repeated warning about backing out and driving too fast, especially in our driveway since we have young children at play. Austin saw the car of a friend that was parked in the middle of the driveway and knew to steer around it, but cranked the wheel and gunned it in reverse. What he failed to remember was how the front of the car arcs out farther than the tires, and when the speed was added to the equation, it resulted in the fender being bent, the front bumper being ripped out, and the front left headlight being pulled away. The garage also sustained damage, but cracked siding and splintered wood were the smaller part of the problem. David thought it would be about 1k in damage, but his friend said it would be closer to 2k. Austin’s entire summer’s wages were on the line in a rash moment.

Why do I call this a veiled blessing? It goes against everything in me to welcome a financial burden! If you know me, I use coupons, shop sales, and pinch every penny that I can. From the moment this happened I have been overflowing with praise and gratitude to God!  I believe to the bottom of my soul that God allowed a wake-up call for Austin, one that cost him his time and money but not his sister’s life. Hannah and Mandy were playing at the neighbor’s that afternoon, running back and forth between houses and across driveways. It cost him dollars, but our family is intact. Praise the LORD!  Austin seems to have sobered through this ordeal. I don’t think I will hear his tires squealing in the cul-de-sac any time soon!

As it turns out, by doing the work ourselves and buying aftermarket products, the financial won’t be as steep. It will take several hours of work and learning. It will cost him a school’s month of wages, not his entire summer’s wages. He has gained an appreciation of his parents’ warnings. He also has changed his perspective on the cost of every day things, blessings he takes for granted, because they can be lost so rapidly.

In the midst of it all, when everything was up in the air and he thought his savings were drained, Austin made a hefty financial contribution to support a local Christian radio station. When the world would advise him to hold on to whatever wealth he had left, he in faith gave what he had to God. I asked him about it and he shrugged it off, saying it was what he needed to do. I am amazed at the strength of character my son is gaining. His faith has blessed me.God has blessed me, over and over.

All my best,

Amy

Whether Think You Can or You Can’t, You’re Right

This weekend was homecoming for our schools. (Go HAWKEYES!) The bands were required to march in the parade, which was “normal” for both Andrew and Hailey, but terrifying for Hope. She refused to perform in last year’s concert because of the fear of failure; this year she was making her playing debut not only publically but also while marching.  The worry and stress that was invested into this event!  Friday came; the weather was perfect, the crowd was massive, and Hope marched alongside her classmates, playing like the rest of them.  After the parade, Hope was smiling from ear to ear, almost glowing with pride. Her first comment? “I can’t wait to play in the next concert!”

Austin also overcame an obstacle that had been a thorn in his side for his high school career: the pep assembly. It seems that the former “pep” assemblies were just a time for the school to be gathered together in a orderly manner and to be lectured about how to have “spirit”, as long as it wasn’t too loud or rowdy. As a senior, Austin was eligible to organize the pep assembly this year, and he took the bull by the horns. After a month of planning, gathering footage of the football highlights, and organizing, the pep assembly was a hit. There was music, cheering, games, and the football players actually jogged onto the main floor—they didn’t walk on in an orderly fashion! I am so proud of my son: he didn’t just complain about his grievance; he did what it took to make it better not just for him, but for his entire student body. He didn’t say it was too hard, or out of his comfort zone, or he was too busy: all of which were true. He just did what it took to be the change.

All my best,

Amy

It’s Ok…We’re Family!

We have three large dogs. When we had one, he was allowed to be an inside dog. When we had #2 come along, they were inside/outside dogs. The third one cemented their living conditions--outside dogs 24/7.

Boomer, our eldest dog, is definitely showing his age and slowing down. Having the experience of losing our cat this past December, we all are more aware about appreciating what we have while we have it. That said, Boomer was given a night inside, including a lot of petting by many hands.

He loved every minute of the attention, eyes rolling and tongue lolling. He was drooling profusely, making his legs, the couch, and Hannah’s and Mandy’s hands quite wet. Hannah wrinkled her face and said “EEEeeeewww!” but Mandy kept petting, saying, “It’s ok; we’re family.”

Well said, Mandy!

All my best,

Amy

Reaching Out

Hope loves to talk about her day upon reaching the front door after school. She tells me about her class work, her friends, her teachers, and her inevitable struggle with her locker. J  Last week her demeanor darkened when she shared about another girl, one who was not being friendly. I inquired about what was happening, and Hope said that this girl was staring at her with a not-so-nice expression. This is not the first time Hope has experienced judgment by her peers; she lived it daily in China for being an orphan. Sadly, she saw that ostracism knows no boundaries.

I tried to explain that some people feel threatened by new things and people and that people will either run away or fight whatever scares them.  Hope was amazed that anyone could be scared of her! I also talked about how people often act in ways that do not reflect the truth. I didn’t know how much Hope truly understood, but she seemed more relaxed when we finished our conversation.

Our church’s youth group has been getting ready for their big evangelistic event of the year.  The kids have been putting up posters, making U-Tube videos, posting invites on Facebook and handing out postcards to their friends.  Hope also has been inviting her friends for weeks so she always keeps a stack of the postcards with her. The day after she told me about her unfriendly classmate she came home from school, ready to download her day as usual. The first thing she shared? She saw this particular girl scowling at her but instead of turning away, Hope approached her, handed her a card for the youth group event, and invited her to come. Hope said that the girl didn’t look so angry afterwards! What a victory for Hope!

Although Hope still struggles with English comprehension, fear of marching in band, and being able to follow along with all of her classes, she has demonstrated poise and character beyond her years. She no longer wears the scarlet letters: O for Orphan, U for Unwanted, W for Worthless.  Instead, she wears a mantle of love and acceptance and value and worth. She knows that she is our child, she is learning that she is God’s child, and she is acting on what she believes.

All my best,

Amy

The Joke Without a Punchline

Finally, we have completed the oath ceremony for Hope. She was being denied her certificate of citizenship because, although she became a US citizen upon getting her Chinese passport stamped at the airport customs back in February, AND she took an oath back in Guangzhou at the American Embassy, AND she has received her American passport (which is evidence of her citizenship, not proof) she needed to jump through yet another hoop. So, after months of waiting, dozens of phone calls, a 7 hour round trip, 20 minutes of waiting before the appointment, 20 minutes of waiting for the late start at Detroit US CIS, and repeating a ridiculous oath, Hope is finally official!

Hope was concerned that she didn’t understand almost all of the oath she was supposed to repeat. Take a moment and read what she promised today:

“OATH OF ALLEGIANCE”

I HEREBY DECLARE, ON OATH, THAT I ABSOLUTELY AND ENTIRELY RENOUNCE AND ABJURE ALL ALLEGIANCE AND FIDELITY TO ANY FOREIGN PRINCE, POTENTATE, STATE OR SOVEREIGNTY, OF WHOM OR WHICH I HAVE HERETOFORE BEEN A SUBJECT OR CITIZEN; THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION AND LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC; THAT I WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; THAT I WILL BEAR ARMS ON BEHALF OF THE UNITED STATES WHEN REQUIRED BY THE LAW: THAT I WILL PERFORM NONCOMBATANT SERVICE IN THE ARMED FORCES OF THE UNITED STATES WHEN REQUIRED BY LAW; THAT I WILL PERFORM WORK OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE UNDER CIVILIAN DIRECTION WHEN REQUIRED BY THE LAW; AND THAT I TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; SO HELP ME GOD.

(WHAT???!?!?!!!) Can you believe that the United States congress required me to drive 7 hours and put my 14 year old child through THAT??? For what earthly purpose??? Ahh, tax dollars at work. What a farce!

Speaking of tax dollars well spent, check out what a printed sign said inside the vending machine there:

"Please do not use Canadian money in vendoring machine.Canadian money can render vendoring machine inoperable. Use U.S.A. money currency only with exception of 1/2 a dollars."

Welcome to America, eh?

Now that THAT is behind us, I can truly say:

All my best,

Amy

Survivor Guilt

Hope talked to her China family this morning. She didn’t really expound about much until dinner when she shared that her older sister (who was brought into the home to replace her) told her that all of her friends in China are angry with her because she doesn’t talk to them. She also told Hope that her younger sister was doing so much and that Hope was missing it all. Finally she asked Hope “Why you?” She said that she turned 14 and no one wanted her and no one adopted her at the last minute (like what happened to Hope) so why Hope?

It seemed that those questions were reverberating in Hope’s mind all day. At dinner she asked us over and over “Why me?” and asked us to retell the path we took to her. She asked us how we could love her before we even met her and what if she was naughty? What then?  She asked why we couldn’t adopt her sisters and her friends too.

All of our answers felt vague in concept, kind of like asking her to hold onto a cloud. We kept on telling her that God brought her to us, first to our eyes, then to our hearts, and finally to our family. We told her that we could love her before we met her because that is what parents to for all their children. We explained that we were able to love her because God first loved us; that even when she didn’t know us or was rejecting us and thinking we were the enemy our hearts were overflowing with love for her and we pursued her until she decided to turn two us, just like God loved us before we knew him and even when we were his enemy. We sadly told her that we were not able to adopt all of her foster siblings and friends, just because it was not possible.

Which got me thinking…

What if we did adopt again?

(David doesn’t like this line of thinking.)

So I have petitioned God to change our hearts to be like HIS, to turn around our mindsets and to have the desires HE wants us to have.

All the kids know my heart. David knows my heart. Most importantly, God knows my heart. And I will learn to be satisfied with what HE has planned for me. For us.

It seems that I too am experiencing survivor guilt. I have been blessed with so much. There is SO MUCH need out there! How can I say that I have done enough? When will we have the family God planned for us?  Six kids? Seven? Ten?

Although I don’t know the answers, I do know that before Hope went to bed she hugged me and told me that she was so glad that I was her mom. I am too.

And that is enough thinking for one night.

All my best, Amy

Fading…and Growing…

Hope realized that she is forgetting her Chinese. She has forgotten mainly the written characters, but the verbal is also slowly ebbing. This scares her, and me too. I promised her that she could take Chinese as a second language in high school, but she has another year to wait. Dave has jumped on this and has promised to get her an on-line subscription to a Chinese newspaper. I do NOT want this to be lost…there is too much of her in her language. She even has said that she is afraid to call her China mom b/c she may not know how to answer, and Minnie isn’t here to help anymore. I knew this would happen, but I didn’t want it to happen so quickly!

Both Mandy and Hope have learned SO MUCH English in the past 5 months! I know by the cock of their heads and the flat look in their eyes when they don’t understand, but we rarely use Google translate anymore. Hope gets lost when other people talk because they are either talking too fast or not taking “comprehension breaks”, but usually if I repeat what was just said or rephrase it, they understand. Mandy often plays the “HUH?” card even when she understands. I think it is either a game or a control tactic…but usually she can answer appropriately when asked about what is being discussed. I swear, Mandy’s middle name should have been “Me Too!” as she mirrors whatever her sister Hannah does.

Austin and Hailey have been busy swimming this summer for swim teams. They both are instrumental in Hope’s and Mandy’s desire to achieve in the pool…both girls are intent on learning to swim the butterfly!!! I told them to ask their swim teachers next week. I am sure it will come after freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke! Bless them for having such high aspirations, only a few months after entering the water for the first time. They were amazed that we had Austin, Hailey, Andrew and Hannah in swim lessons while they were still in diapers. J

Hope mentioned that she never went shopping alone with her China mom. She had an older brother who was a bio son, and he always chose to go with his mom to the market. She also said that she would say “hi” to her mom when she would see her and some small talk, but never anything beyond that. She said she felt shy by her China mom. How different it is now!!! She is always being engaged in conversation!!!  I am so thankful that she is my daughter!

One last thing…Hope keeps on saying that if Dave was in China, he would be put into a (mental) hospital for the crazy! Dave loves to dance crazy-like, embarrassing his daughters beyond belief! Just wait until Hope’s first dance at school…J

I am a happy and blessed momma!

All my best,

Amy

My Fish

It is so hard to believe that only a little over 4 months ago both Hope and Amanda had never been swimming. To look at them today…WOW! Amanda has officially graduated off of the arm bands and is swimming both on top of the water and under water. She dives for toys on the bottom of the pool, does somersaults in the water, jumps in going frontwards, backwards, and doing “twisties”, and goes down our pool slide dozens of times a day. She is quite a fish! Both she and Hannah are going for swim lessons next month to learn the strokes properly so they can join the swim team this fall.

Hope is not as advanced as Mandy but she has come such a long way! Only 1 month ago she wouldn’t enter the pool without me. Just 2 weeks ago I had to jump in to save her because she didn’t know enough to reach out for a reaching assist. Now she swims regularly with a life vest on but will also take it off (with permission, of course) and attempt swimming in the shallow part of the pool by herself. She has tried to dive for the toys at the bottom of the pool but hasn’t succeeded yet, but she TRIES! Just 2 weeks ago she couldn’t stand up without help—now she goes down the slide, jumps in, and uses a snorkel and goggles to swim around. She has even kicked across the pool while holding her breath without ANY floatation devise…WHO would have thought it possible? She also is signed up for swim lessons next month. Hopey definitely won’t tell you that she is excited about it, but if you look closely, she gets a glimmer in her eyes when she talks about it!

My eldest two are in swim practice every day and lifting in a swim-specific weight program 2-3 days a week. Hailey is determined to place at state this year and Austin has been uncomfortable since getting a 2nd in state last year in his 100 free. He is determined to take first in both the 50 and 100 this winter as well as entice any scholarship offers from universities.

Andrew is not swimming but is in a diving camp. He has been known to have a knack for dancing and has been invited to be on a traveling competitive team before. Our trip to Shanghai derailed that endeavor but he is finally finding a way to use his God-given talents. For someone who decided last year to give diving a try, he is holding his own against high schoolers! He likes to go to practice early and stay late which speaks volumes about his heart. It makes me nervous to watch him dive because he gets closer and closer to the board the better he performs.

Between the school’s pool and the one in our backyard, ALL of my kids have a very healthy diet of chlorinated water. It seems to be a wonder-drug for acne but is hard on the hair, causing it to either break off or turn green! It can be said that the aroma of “Ode de Chlorine” permeates our house at any given time.

The joys of summer!

All my best,

Amy

Today’s Friends, Yesterday’s Family

Saturday night was a long one for us! Our dear friends who are missionaries in Bangkok came home for summer furlough. They arrived at the airport at 11:38 pm, family complete and bags accounted for! The sheer enormity of this task is remarkable: two and a half years ago they “rescued” a girl being sold to the slave market and started proceedings to adopt her. Being that they bought her (which is illegal) put huge barriers in their path, especially with the Hague in place now. They had planned on returning to the states last summer but their child wasn’t granted a travel visa at the last minute. Even this year they climbed sizable mountains, completing her adoption and obtaining her visa only days before travel. (sounds vaguely familiar…) Three of my kids went to the airport with me to greet and deliver our friends to their house for the summer and everyone got to meet them Sunday night in an impromptu dinner party. Hope and Amanda were very uncertain about the new people and clung to each other and to me for a long time. By the end of the night, however, Mandy was hugging Liz’s neck, not wanting to let her go! Hope asked when they were coming back before they left the driveway and started to dance a jig when I mentioned an impending sleepover later this week. I am glad that everyone meshed so well since I plan on having this other family be a part of our daily lives for the next 2 months!

WELCOME Dave, Sonja, Liz, Elliot, Grace, Elliana, and Ammie!

Saturday night Hope decided she wanted to call her teacher from China. It took several attempts but we found out that her teacher’s cell phone number was no longer in service for her. Determined to make contact with someone from China, Hope then called her foster family. Her father answered, but Hope locked up and wouldn’t talk. She started to cry, not wanting to answer his questions of how she was, etc. How could she answer “fine, good, I am doing well,” etc without hurting his feelings?  He then became frustrated with her for not talking and started yelling at her. At this point she hung up and really cried. HARD. Dave was there and comforted her by hugging her, stroking her hair, rubbing her back, just repeating over and over that he loved her. I also hugged and loved on her until the tears subsided and encouraged her to talk to Minnie. Through Minnie we found out about Hope’s conflicting feelings and frustrations. We encouraged Hope to call her foster parents again, but she definitely wasn’t ready.

Sunday night, soon after our friends left, Hope decided she wanted to call again. After coaching her on what she could say and talk about, we got her on the phone, this time with her China mom. It looked like there was going to be a repeat performance as she immediately started to cry and refused to talk when I grabbed an extension and gave it to Minnie, saying “Talk!” Min got on the line and started talking to Hope’s foster mom in Mandarin and continued to do so for quite a few minutes. Min explained Hope’s feelings and told her foster mom about us, Hope’s accomplishments, etc. Soon Hope was able to supply an answer to a question and then picked up the conversation. Min stayed on the phone, trying to let me know what was being said and trying to officiate, making sure that what was being said was appropriate. I say “trying” because Hope and her China mom were talking in a dialect of their region in Kunming and Min could only make out bits and pieces. Hope also asked her foster mom for a recipe for some kind of rice dumpling that is eaten for the up-coming Dragon Boat Festival next week. Hope’s foster mom first said that we wouldn’t be able to get the ingredients here but Hope proudly told her that we already bought the sweet rice (a 50-pound bag!) for it, so her other mom told her the directions. Hope finished the conversation SO happy and SO eager to make contact again! She had worried about making contact with her foster family for the past 2 months…she even wrote and ripped up letters to them. She was certain that they forgot about her! Her foster mom is going to ask her uncle for his e-mail address so Hope can make more frequent direct contact and send photos online. She found out that the letter she sent to her classmates over a month ago DID get delivered, even if they didn’t write back. Hope is now beaming, eager to write, eager to call, eager to e-mail her foster family, her friends in China, as well as her friend here in NY who was adopted before her. It seems that she has the internal strength to do ANYTHING right now!!!

When the noise of the day faded away with the last child going to bed Dave asked me if I had mixed emotions about Hope being so happy to talk to her China mom.   I must admit that although the question was a valid one, it had never crossed my mind or heart. I am SO HAPPY that this family loved and supported Hope for so long! They surrounded her with extended family: grandparents, uncles, cousins, as well as numerous foster siblings. They taught her the value of hard work, the importance of family, and the worth of education. I certainly don’t feel threatened by her—at the end of the day, Hope is HERE, learning that her significance to me is not dependent on her usefulness but based upon my love for her which stems from God’s love for me. Hope is who she is today largely because of her China mom; for that I am very grateful.

Xie xie, Zhong gua ma ma!

All my best,

Amy

A Glance Back, A Glimpse Ahead

It has been so long since I sat down to write. There have been many times that I thought “I need to blog about this!” but then I would lose that thought by the time I sat down in front of the computer. Goodness, I often lose my train of thought walking from one room to the next!  No wonder I didn’t become an engineer…always losing my train (of thought)…hee hee…ok, lame joke. Sorry. J

Dave is finally over his jet lag from a 2 week stay in China. It was hard on everyone to have him gone! Hope and Mandy daily lamented that Dad wasn’t home. They did jump right in the family tradition of “sharing nights in mom’s bed”. I didn’t even have one free night the whole time Dave was away. I also found out that Mandy is a touchy-feely person in her sleep.  She often “touched” with her feet as she tap-danced on my back, laying perpendicular in the bed. It didn’t matter how many times I righted her position and how many pillows I placed in between us…those monkey toes would burrow their way underneath like heat-seeking missiles. I also found out that she needed her toe nails cut, evidenced by the scratches I received. What a night!

It actually worked out well that there were not enough days for everyone to go twice. Of the seven kids that slept with me, only Hannah made my bed the next morning. Because of this, she was rewarded with an additional night. Of all the kids, only Andrew stayed and helped me with dinner dishes on Mothers’ Day. He was rewarded with an additional night, too. When the other kids saw that they could earn another night in the “BIG” bed, they started helping out around the house more! Not everyone, but some, and every little bit of help counts!

I was blessed with several unique, thoughtful Mothers’ Day gifts from my kiddos. My FAVORITE one, however, is a book made out of my blog entries, people’s comments, and photos of our adoption/family life. I had mentioned that I wanted that in the past but never took any steps to make it happen. Now I have it to cherish forever.

School is winding down, sports are wrapping up, and summer is upon us. Whoo-hoo! I am looking forward to having my kids around more! Austin and Hailey will be swimming through the summer, Andrew will be training for CC as well as spending time in the pool in diving camps, and Hope, Hannah and Amanda will participate in a summer art class. Austin has a job that will increase his hours in the summer as well as be involved in a weight lifting program, so his time will be filled, but since he drives himself it doesn’t affect the rest of us too much. Everyone else will have *something* to do to break up the 3 months of summer break but not enough to be too busy. Everyone will have the chance to get bored and then figure out how to entertain (him) herself WITHOUT a computer screen. That is a skill that will be difficult for Hope to learn (but very important as well). It will be a great time to just be a family!

How blessed we are! I don’t deserve even a moment of this happiness, but I cherish every one.

Thank you, God:

for entrusting each and every child to my care;

to hold on tight for a while and then release as they grow;

to love forever!

All my best,

Amy

PS. I have to give a shout-out to my son Andrew! He ran the mile in his track conference last night. He trained all season for the 400 and 800, but those events were filled so he was placed in the mile run. His PR from one practice run at the beginning of the season was just over 6:30 so he was hoping to break 6:30. Instead, he wrapped up the season with 6:07!!! Like he said, “Imagine what I could do if I actually train for it!!!” Great job, Boo!