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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Joke Without a Punchline


Finally, we have completed the oath ceremony for Hope. She was being denied her certificate of citizenship because, although she became a US citizen upon getting her Chinese passport stamped at the airport customs back in February, AND she took an oath back in Guangzhou at the American Embassy, AND she has received her American passport (which is evidence of her citizenship, not proof) she needed to jump through yet another hoop. So, after months of waiting, dozens of phone calls, a 7 hour round trip, 20 minutes of waiting before the appointment, 20 minutes of waiting for the late start at Detroit US CIS, and repeating a ridiculous oath, Hope is finally official!
Hope was concerned that she didn’t understand almost all of the oath she was supposed to repeat. Take a moment and read what she promised today:
“OATH OF ALLEGIANCE”
I HEREBY DECLARE, ON OATH, THAT I ABSOLUTELY AND ENTIRELY RENOUNCE AND ABJURE ALL ALLEGIANCE AND FIDELITY TO ANY FOREIGN PRINCE, POTENTATE, STATE OR SOVEREIGNTY, OF WHOM OR WHICH I HAVE HERETOFORE BEEN A SUBJECT OR CITIZEN; THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION AND LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AGAINST ALL ENEMIES, FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC; THAT I WILL BEAR TRUE FAITH AND ALLEGIANCE TO THE SAME; THAT I WILL BEAR ARMS ON BEHALF OF THE UNITED STATES WHEN REQUIRED BY THE LAW: THAT I WILL PERFORM NONCOMBATANT SERVICE IN THE ARMED FORCES OF THE UNITED STATES WHEN REQUIRED BY LAW; THAT I WILL PERFORM WORK OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE UNDER CIVILIAN DIRECTION WHEN REQUIRED BY THE LAW; AND THAT I TAKE THIS OBLIGATION FREELY WITHOUT ANY MENTAL RESERVATION OR PURPOSE OF EVASION; SO HELP ME GOD.

(WHAT???!?!?!!!) Can you believe that the United States congress required me to drive 7 hours and put my 14 year old child through THAT??? For what earthly purpose??? Ahh, tax dollars at work. What a farce!

Speaking of tax dollars well spent, check out what a printed sign said inside the vending machine there:
"Please do not use Canadian money in vendoring machine.Canadian money can render vendoring machine inoperable. Use U.S.A. money currency only with exception of 1/2 a dollars."

Welcome to America, eh?


Now that THAT is behind us, I can truly say:
All my best,
Amy