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Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year’s Resolution

Being the mother of a collage-aged son who lives 13 hours away, I have had to learn to let go. Don’t get me wrong; my first-born has never done anything (much) to cause me grief or worry. Not knowing is half the battle—where he’s going, who’s he’s with, and choices he’s facing. The other half is knowing that bad things happen to good people, and that is the half that keeps me combating with worry and on my knees.
When my first-born received his driving license, my husband and I stayed up EVERY TIME he was out late. After a few months, we would take turns nodding off until Austin was safely home…but now we have let go of those reigns as my son has a schedule totally unknown to us. Even when Austin came home for Christmas break, we would be asleep by the time he returned home at night. Until…
One night Austin was out late. I was with the rest of the family when I was overwhelmed with fear for Austin. The previously stated phrase, “Bad things happen to good people,” flashed like a neon sign in my mind, and I was instantly trembling. I didn’t say anything to anyone else as I thought I was having a case of over-protective-mom-syndrome, but I did start praying for his protection, safety on the road, angels to protect him from dangerous situations and God to keep him in the palm of his hand. This continued until I was in bed, and I drifted into sleep.
The next day as I was chatting with Austin, I admitted that even though he has grown up so much, I was really afraid for him the night before. As the words came out of my mouth, Austin’s eyes became round as saucers and he locked them on me. He said that he had THE SAME FEELINGS the previous night! He said that he didn’t know why, because the roads weren’t as bad as the night before, but he was very concerned as he was driving.
It would be one thing for Austin to say what he did, but his reaction was what emphasized what he experienced. I don’t think that my prayers are anything special, but I do know the One whom I pray to is…I don’t pretend that I know what will happen, but I know that my God does.
My new year’s resolution is not for better fitness or losing weight or more patience. Those things are necessary, some more than others, and will happen (sometime or another). My commitment to myself, to my family, and to my Lord is to listen to His voice. I will only be able to hear Him when I spend time in His Word so it will take time and effort. When he speaks, either in the wind, the earthquake, the fire or the whisper, I need to obey (1 Kings 19:11-13). My family depends on it.
All my best,